another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
