ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
