Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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