ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
