Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
