its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
