I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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