Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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