i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.