Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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