what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."