it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it