Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️