also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize