my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
