all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
