you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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