Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
tell me about the eggs
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