I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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