Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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