So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
