My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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