i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just cut my nipple shaving
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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