you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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