We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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