I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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