Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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