If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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