Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
tell me about the fingering
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