i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
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Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize