why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
you will always have a special place in my vag
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND