You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.