Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
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You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.