go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
you never un-have a 4some
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you