The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.