I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
