just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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