I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
