He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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