i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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