dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw