I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer