Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.