Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Found your dick twin last night
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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