return my video game
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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