I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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