But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
