he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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