Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
