I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
