you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
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I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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