i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
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I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize