Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
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You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
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No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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