Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
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Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
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I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees