There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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