so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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