I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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