Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
