We're facebook friends in real life
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He shit in the fireplace
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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