I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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