I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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